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Africa

Africa: ‘It Took Me Over 30 Years to Come Out. I Stopped Crying’ – Witness

todayOctober 7, 2024

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Honoring African LGBT Activist Yaa Sissi on International Day of Older Persons

Few older Africans participate openly in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) rights movement. But Francisca Ferraz, 53, known as “Yaa Sissi,” aims to change that.

Yaa Sissi, who lives in Geneva, Switzerland, is a pioneering voice in her community. Born in Brazzaville, Republic of the Congo, to a Portuguese father and a Congolese mother, Yaa Sissi moved to Geneva in 2008, where she raised her two daughters, now 25 and 21.

There, early in 2023, she founded Afro LGBT, Geneva’s first LGBT rights association focused on those of African descent.

Today, Afro LGBT creates a safe space for people, many of whom experience fear and discrimination based on their race and their sexuality. Even though she’s seen people like herself come out and live openly in Europe, she notes that many older people, especially those of African descent, still struggle to embrace their identities fully. “People my age hide a lot, and yet there are so many of them,” she says. “But among ourselves we know very well, who is who.”

She speaks of the importance of coming out, of freeing oneself from the heavy burden of secrecy: “I had the courage to do it because I’d been through so much. It wasn’t easy to accept myself.”

Yaa Sissi told her story to Human Rights Watch for the International Day of Older Persons, October 1, sharing her journey through love, identity, and community that has spanned decades, continents, and challenges.

Discovering Love, Confronting Silence

Yaa Sissi discovered her sexuality as a teenager while living in Brazzaville. At age 17, she fell deeply in love with G., a girl four years her junior. Their relationship was intense but short-lived. After high school graduation, Yaa Sissi moved to the neighboring Democratic Republic of Congo for professional training, and they lost touch.

Fourteen years ago – more than 20 years after she was together with G. – a rumor that G. had died led Yaa Sissi to track her down. They rekindled their bond, though they still live in separate countries.

I met Yaa Sissi in her apartment, alongside G, who was visiting.

“There Are So Many People My Age Hiding”

Yaa Sissi speaks fondly of “Carine,” a cultural term from Congo and Democratic Republic of Congo that was used to describe intimate friendships between girls and women. “Our great-grandmothers had ‘Carines,”‘ she says. “G. was my ‘Carine.”‘ These relationships, forged in school and village life, were sources of deep companionship and affection. “With your ‘Carine,’ you could exchange gifts, kiss, and make little love gestures,” she says.

Over the years, Yaa Sissi’s relationships have included many women older than her??, including married women. “In my country, many of my lovers were married women,” she recalls. Some held high positions where they worked. She met them through her late husband, who was a prominent government official in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Creating Afro LGBT – “To Put an End to Fear and Isolation”

Though initially involved in other local LGBT organizations, Yaa Sissi felt unseen and unheard as an Afro-descendant. “We Afros were always a bit in our corner. Nobody came up to us to find out what brought us there, how we felt,” she says. “We wanted to be listened to. We’re all in very different situations, even though we’re all LGBT.”

Yaa Sissi became a trusted figure in her community, with many LGBT youth turning to her for support. “It hurt so much to see such injustice,” she says, recalling a child who came to her after being kicked out of their home for identifying as transgender. “Young Afro LGBT people need to be listened to and protected.”

“I’ve Stopped Crying”

Yaa Sissi’s journey has not been easy. In a country like Switzerland, opportunities to make one’s voice heard are more available, but the journey of self-acceptance can be lifelong. “I knew I’d been attracted to women for a very long time, but I fought it with all my might,” she says. The social norms of the Congo, coupled with the teachings of the church, kept her struggling against her own desires. “I sought deliverance in the churches. They prayed over me. I sincerely thought it was a demon.”

Her marriage was also a struggle; she tried to preserve it despite knowing her truth. Her late husband, who held her in high regard in the beginning of their marriage, when she started openly struggling with her sexuality. He went with her to churches and traditional healers to cast homosexuality out of her. But when that didn’t “work,” he became abusive, eventually abandoning her and their two children in Geneva. “It took me over 30 years to come out with myself,” she says tearfully. “Before I said stop, I don’t want to suffer anymore. I used to be Francisca. Reserved, shy in my corner. Today I’m international. The one talking to you now is Sissi. I’ve stopped crying.”

Facing Discrimination as an Older Afro Lesbian

The intersection of age, race, and sexuality poses unique challenges for Yaa Sissi. “When you’re an Afro lesbian, it’s hard enough. I got married because I didn’t want that life,” she explains, adding that she has known many women who felt compelled to marry men and have children to avoid the stigma of being openly lesbian. “I’ve seen people beaten up, insulted, raped, and sometimes forcibly married.”